Monday, August 11, 2014


I was thinking about our wedding last year. We had so many people there, all of whom knew how our first marriages had fallen apart and were rejoicing with us that we had found each other. 

Then I was thinking how all these people loved me and Troy, and we had done absolutely nothing to receive or deserve that love.

Then I thought about my first marriage and how I spent so much effort in trying to be exactly how he wanted me to be. In short, I was trying to "get" his love, to make him love me. And I failed miserably.

So then I made a few connections. No one can make you love them. You can't make someone love you. What you can do, is do things for the people you do love, not because they deserve it, but because you love them.

This is how God loves us; we don't receive His love, His grace, His gifts because we deserve them. He gives them to us because He loves us. Jesus didn't go to the cross for us because we deserved it. He went because He loved us.

When we think of doing for others, instead of getting for ourselves, that is how we are supposed to love.
This is how I try to love Troy. It is not always easy; having had one marriage fall apart sometimes makes me worry about it happening again. But when I try to do things to make Troy love me, I usually end up feeling foolish and inadequate. But when I act out of love for him, I usually end up knowing we have a solid marriage and that his love for me will always be.

This is why we can't try to "get" God's love. There is no way to deserve it, or to do anything to be "good enough." We can only act out of love for our neighbors, knowing we are already His beloved children. We love because He first loved us.

Tuesday, January 7, 2014


I have been reading The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe to Claire and Natalie. They are both really enjoying it. Last night we reached the point where the Witch is going to kill Aslan. I was reading about how the crowd of Witch's supporters were kicking and hitting Aslan, and spitting at him, and jeering at him.

Claire: Hey! That's just what happened to Jesus!

Me: Yes, it is.

I continued reading. Claire let out little moans as she heard about Aslan being tied up, and dragged to the Stone Table, and mocked by the Witch. At the end of the chapter, she looked at me, horrified.

Claire: He didn't really DIE, did he?

Me: Yes, he did.

Claire (almost in tears): Ohhh.

Me: Claire, who did you just compare Aslan to?

Claire: Jesus.

Me: And what happened to Jesus?

Claire: He died.

Me: And then what happened?

Claire: Um, He rose from the dead.

Me: So...

Claire: But that's not going to happen to Aslan.

So I read the next chapter, where the Stone Table cracked and Aslan came back to life. Oh, Claire and Natalie were so happy!
After the chapter was over, and I was tucking the girls into bed, Claire pronounced, "The story of Aslan is just like the story of Jesus. Except Jesus was in the tomb for 3 days and Aslan was only on the Stone Table for a little while."
I am pretty impressed with Claire for recognizing the Story C.S. Lewis was telling, without knowing that authors do tell stories in such a way. And now I'm hopeful and excited for her to read other stories, and see that many of the best are, in their way, a retelling of the Story.