Single Parenting

The pastor of the church where Cannon Valley is located commented yesterday something about my being a single parent. That got me thinking, because I don't really think all that much about being a "single parent."
For one thing, the girls' father had been in the Army Reserve for the duration of our marriage, and had his training weekends and two weeks in the summer. So I often had to care for Claire and Natalie on my own for that reason.
Also, he is a police officer who works shift work. I rarely had any help at bedtime, but between the three of us, we had our routine and it worked.
The girls' father had been diagnosed with PTSD the week before Natalie was born. Looking back now, I see he had really checked out long before he asked for the divorce. I had been doing everything I could to make sure the girls and I weren't a burden on him (not that I succeeded, obviously) and so I took them with me everywhere, not liking to ask him to watch them. When he was at home and awake, most of his time was spent playing video games, so it was just easier to have Claire and Natalie with me.
The point of all this is that I was almost a single parent for a very long time before the divorce.
Then there is the stereotypical image of what a "single mom" looks like, which is a woman with several kids and just as many "baby daddies" that are not helping out who is receiving public assistance but spends it on cigarettes and McDonalds (unChristian of me, I know). If not that, then there are a lot of single moms out there who get no child support, who don't have flexible jobs, who don't have the help of family and friends.
Fortunately, Claire and Natalie's father is very reliable about paying child support. They see him a couple of times a month and will be on vacation with him this summer for a few days. I also have most of my family nearby, willing to help out if I need it, and my job pretty much lets me be "mom" if there are days that I need to be that more than the school secretary.
Single parenting isn't really seen as something to aspire to, and I certainly don't recommend it. I think children should live in a 2-parent household and be raised by both mom and dad. However, since my children don't have that, I've decided to try to find the positives in our situation. For one thing, our house is (usually) low-stress and happy. I am a happy, optimistic person, and that helps keep our home happy. For another, Claire and Natalie are getting to spend a lot of time around extended family. Claire and Alair are giggly little BFFs, and Natalie just adores "Ba-pa"and "Da-ma." I get help on most Sundays with them in church. We go to my parents' every weekend for Sunday dinner. Things truly aren't that bad, and could really be a whole lot worse.